貴人

I have reasons to believe, after consultation with Mr. E, Miss G, and Dr. P, that Mr. B was hitting on me; but for the longest time I didn't know how to tell him to go away because we are really good friends, and I want us to be friends (and friends only) forever.

Last week, when Mr. A, Mr. B and I were chilling out, Mr. A told Mr. B that my bf just did his x-c solo, when I was checking my voicemail from my bf. Mr. B was just calm and emotionless as usual. But since then, Mr. B hasn't called/messaged me. I guess Mr. A helped me send the correct message.

I thought it is quite a strong message (that she is not at all interested in dating) when a girl tells a guy that she has a bf somewhere!? Or does it take a third party to verify that the bf is real??

Colorado

my sister will be in CO 3/20-23! it totally sucks that it's right before my project review on 3/30 in CA, for which i have to squeeze in more expt for last-min results, make slides for not just myself but also my boss who will be happily cruising the Nile river.

*sigh* i can only dream about skiing CO this season.

coming to peace with myself

== screw-you mentality, to jerks. i used to think that i have to please everyone around me. i finally realize that this is a foolish thinking.

first, it is almost impossible to please everyone. jerks are everywhere. trying to befriend everyone would only cause tremendous stress and worry. second, it is totally unnecessary to please everyone in order to succeed (in my case, to graduate). i realize, only very recently, that if i am not happy working with someone, i will never enjoy what we do together; and if i don't enjoy what i do, i won't be very successful anyway. so i might as well screw the person/project, and work on something else with someone else that i am happy with. plus, jerks won't get very far b/c they suck at people skills; there's no use in kissing losers' ass.

another recent lesson in dealing with jerks. some people tend to be extremely defensive, or cocky, or simply have an attitude such that they dismiss all your questions and comments and make you feel like an idiot when you talk to them in person. the way to deal with this type of people is to save all your comments (which you truly believe are valid and relevant), shoot them all in the middle of his public talk/seminar, force him to respond in front of everybody. he will have no choice but address those questions. it has worked very well. it is ruthless, but again you are dealing with jerks.

this screw-you mentality ultimately relies on self-confidence: real understanding of one's goals/wants/needs/constraints; and firm belief in oneself. it's a sign of growing up when one can say: "screw you!"